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“… leaders have an obligation, to their family (following), to their Creator, and to their species, to keep working at their own self-differentiation” (Friedman, 2011, pp. 233).
Through self-differentiation, leadership seeks to gain followers who are yet to follow or quit. There is no emotional coercion whatsoever about the leader one wants to follow.  From the quote, it evident that it is entirely up to an individual to choose their path. Leadership and congregational togetherness in a family do not have to involve anyone giving up their individuality. A leader does not necessarily exert their will on the followers. Similarly, the fostered interdependence gained by the leader should not be used to control how the entire system reasons and works.

Friedman (2011) explains that in a system where a leader seeks to be self-differentiated, he gives the people around him a chance to serve their God in a true way. In such a case, the followers automatically choose their path without following blindly. Also, self means independence, self-awareness, and liberty.[“Write my essay for me?” Get help here.]

As a leader, one has an obligation to serve God. One should be available to their family at all times and help them cope with their emotional baggage. Such supports ensure that the family is in a sound place of thought, consequently allowing them function in total efficiency. Mr. Love found himself in an awkward spot when his wife felt that he was closing her out (Friedman, 2011). When they solve their marital issues, the couple, together with the congregation which had started to disintegrate, come back together in the formation of a stronger family group. This quote encourages individuals to have a personal willingness to discover a more personal outlook on life. It encourages personality and self-awareness in a world where most people choose to follow the masses.[Need an essay writing service? Find help here.]

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Reply 1
Thank you for your insightful quote. Indeed, the quote seeks to expand knowledge on the right leadership in a church. Such a leader can steer their organization through the waves and tides of conflicts. Church leadership is not easy or enjoyable as it may seem. It is a calling that requires leaders to strike an intricate balance between their personal interests, interests of the congregation, and those of the church. Conflicts arise as church leaders try to achieve this balance and it is how they go about these conflicts that define the type of leaders they are. As such, Friedman (2011) recommends self-differentiated. Friedman (2011) insists that a self-differentiated leader can retain emotional control in periods of immense pressures such as during conflicts. When coupled with knowledge of systematic family therapy, a self-differentiated leadership can overcome most of the challenges that arise in their organizations.

Reply 2
Hello. Your insightful quote brings into perspective a critical aspect of leadership, emotional control. Leadership based on emotional consciousness and control is called self-differentiated leadership. In this leadership model, there is emotional freedom. The leader does not lead by coercion or force but by logic and democracy (Friedman, 2011). Also, they give their followers the opportunity to choose what they feel is right instead of coercing them emotionally (Friedman, 2011). A church leader has an obligation to serve both God and the church members. Coercion and failure to uphold freedom and democracy in the congregation are against God’s will. Self-differentiated leaders are likely to face fewer conflicts in their leadership. Mr. Love’s leadership failed due to his lack of emotional control and consciousness (Friedman, 2011). After reading this prompt, all individuals should strive to be self-differentiated leaders when they get the chance to lead.[Click Essay Writer to order your essay]

Friedman, E. (2011). Generation to generation: Family process in church and synagogue (pp. 242-249). New York, NY: Guilford Publications.

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By Hanna Robinson

Hanna has won numerous writing awards. She specializes in academic writing, copywriting, business plans and resumes. After graduating from the Comosun College's journalism program, she went on to work at community newspapers throughout Atlantic Canada, before embarking on her freelancing journey.

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