College Essay Examples


Sample by My Essay Writer


Response # 1
The opening paragraph was relatively adequate and holds a lot of promise when it comes to topics like this. However, there are several aspects that you should take into consideration. The first is the use of topic sentences as a means of introducing the subject that the paragraph will present or argue against. While the topic sentence used in this case is appropriate, it could be improved if it were more direct to the point. Aside from this, there are a few grammatical errors here and there that, while not detracting from the quality of the paper, does make it a bit harder to read. It is advisable that the writer adds a few commas to break up the sentences appropriately to make the flow of ideas easier to understand. However, I have to state that the contents were interesting to read. Despite the issues mentioned earlier, most of the content is well presented, has a considerable amount of potential when it comes to how it can support future arguments and merely needs a few minor tweaks to make it great. I recommend that the author focus on using examples that people can relate to when it comes to expressing ideas on particular subjects. This makes the content relatable and thus easier to read which would improve the contents as a whole.[Click Essay Writer to order your essay]

Response # 2
This was a well-written paragraph that did an excellent job of presenting where the rest of the paper could potentially go regarding the subject it is tackling. However, I do have some minor issues with it that I would like to point out. The first point is that all paragraphs should be direct to the point when it comes to any subject matter they are dealing with. While some rambling later on the paper is fine, the first paragraph should immediately present what the author is going for when it comes to the rest of the content of the article. While adequate, this section needs more work to be truly excellent and could use a few more tweaks by explaining why the topic is being tackled in the topic sentence, why it is important in the second sentence and how your paper is going to accomplish this in the third sentence. Follow this format and you will likely do an excellent job in all future articles when it comes to how you present your ideas.[Need an essay writing service? Find help here.]

Discussion Response
There are several things wrong with this paragraph given its lack of adherence to proper APA formatting. The first issue is with the following citation “For example, Maier, Elliot, & Lichtenfeld (2008)”. While it may seem okay, proper APA citation guidelines state that using “&” should primarily be reserved for the reference list or an in-text citation within a parenthesis. When utilized in this particular context, the “&” should have been converted into an “and.” The next problem that was noted was the use of the number “4” in the text. As per APA format guidelines, numbers should not be typed as their numerical equivalent. As such, “4” should have been “four.” Not only that, the context of its usage is entirely mistaken since “Mind 4 IQ tests” clearly should have been written as “mind for IQ tests.” This is indicative of a grammatical error on the part of the writer since numbers should never be used as replacements for actual words no matter how close they sound to their literary counterparts. However, this format is applicable only to APA academic papers; if a person wants to use the number in comical phrases such as “4 you” in a non-academic context, it is entirely up to the writer. Aside from this, there may also be an issue with using the following reference in the paper “Maier, Elliot, & Licteneld, 2008”. While the APA formatting used in this citation is correct, its use is immediately succeeded by a source that is not cited. Technically, if a writer is referring to information that is indicated in general by a reference then placing a page number is not necessary. However, in this case, there is an uncited quote which either originates from a particular section in the previous citation or is an entirely different source. The writer should have either placed a citation for the phrase “study, titled The semantic red effect: Processing the word red undermines intellectual performance” or transferred the previous citation to his area and added in a page number. [“Write my essay for me?” Get help here.]

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By Hanna Robinson

Hanna has won numerous writing awards. She specializes in academic writing, copywriting, business plans and resumes. After graduating from the Comosun College's journalism program, she went on to work at community newspapers throughout Atlantic Canada, before embarking on her freelancing journey.

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