Counseling Essay Sample

Question 1

Infidelity can be devastating, particularly, if a relationship has been in existence for a long period. While there are various strategies that couples can utilize to deal with infidelity, its effect can be overwhelming to the innocent partner. One of the most damaging effects of infidelity in the long term for an innocent partner is loss of self-esteem. The innocent partner will ask himself/herself various questions to help understand the factors that led to the infidelity. In most cases, he or she will question whether he or she managed to deliver her all in the relationship. Such questions can be devastating as a person may start blaming himself/herself for the partner’s behavior. An innocent partner who focuses the questions on himself/herself after another partner’s infidelity will develop self-esteem problems (Glass, 2004). In most cases, they fail to understand that it is their partners’ deficiency that led to the infidelity and not theirs. The anxiety associated with the questioning of one ’s self can lead to the destruction of an innocent partner’s self-esteem. It may take the innocent partner a long time to rebuild his or her self-esteem. In case the innocent partner decides to venture into a new relationship after some years, there are high chances that the self-esteem issues developed because of the infidelity in the past relationship may affect the new relationship. The person may find it challenging to trust another person after being let down in the previous relationship. In some cases, the person may start questioning his or her ability to make the relationship successful because of the self-esteem issues that were developed after learning of the previous partner’s infidelity.

The innocent partner can find it hard to stay in future relationships due to a lack of self-esteem. He or she may be scared of being hurt or betrayed again. In some cases, the self-esteem issues can make the person feel unable to handle a relationship. It should be understood that the self-esteem issues developed by an innocent partner after discovering the other partner’s infidelity are usually because of the secretive nature of the infidelity (Glass, 2004). In such cases, the innocent partner never believed that such a thing would occur and upon learning it, he or she begins questioning his/her judgment and life. The questions then make the partner develop feelings that his or her life is shattered. Therefore, the destruction of self-esteem is one of the most damaging effects of infidelity on an innocent partner because one may find it difficult to rebuild his or her self-esteem even after several years. The individual will have constant questions about himself or herself with the hope of understanding what when wrong in the relationship. Without investing in a strong social support system, the innocent partner’s self-esteem can be affected for life. Price, Bush, and Price (2017: 64), state that problem-focused coping can be helpful for a person who experiences a stressful event. Therefore, by utilizing this coping method, the innocent partner can learn to establish some control over the effects of infidelity. According to the 1st Thessalonians 4:3-4 (New King James Version), a person who commits sexual immorality goes against God’s will as every person should treat his or her body in a holy and honorable manner. Therefore, a partner who engages in infidelity does not only destroy the innocent partner’s self-esteem but also goes against God’s will.

References

Glass, S. P. (2004). Not “Just Friends”: Rebuilding trust and recovering your sanity after infidelity. New York, NY: Atria Books.

Price, C. A., Bush, K. R., & Price, S. J. (Eds.). (2017). Families & change: Coping with stressful events & transitions. (5th ed.). Los Angeles, CA: Sage Publications.

Question 2

As is the case, military culture and civilian life differ a great deal. While people in the military may have families, their family members may have problems adjusting to some aspects of military culture during their interaction with these soldiers. It is important to understand that soldiers may continue to embrace military culture while living among civilians, in particular, their families. Therefore, it will be necessary for these families to understand how to cope with them. One aspect of military culture that military families have problems adjusting to is the authoritarian structure (Hall, 2016: 47). Soldiers always maintain a rigid authoritarian structure in their homes as this is the type of culture that they understand. The structure may make them start running their homes like military units whereby authority was practiced by the family heads, in this case, the soldiers. These soldiers expect their family members to take instructions as they have been trained to do. Moreover, they do not tolerate disagreements and questions from their families, as this is the case in the military camps. According to Price, Bush, and Price (2017: 389), outbursts can become common in military families because of the rigid authoritarian structure that servicemen can practice in their homes. As part of military culture, soldiers are expected to take commands without questioning (Price, Bush, & Price, 2017: 389). Therefore, there is a high possibility that people in the military may practice this culture in their families. Price, Bush, and Price (2017: 390) suggest that in the military, working in unison is encouraged as most missions involve the cooperation of every person involved. Military family members with individualistic characters may have problems with the service members, as the military culture does not entertain such characters. Overall, the authoritarian structure is one of the major aspects of military culture that many military families will find problems adjusting to as individualism, a contrast of collectivism, is practiced in civilian life.

Another aspect of military culture that military families have problems adjusting to is isolation and alienation. When in the civilian world, service members find it difficult to fit in society and end up becoming isolated (Hall, 2016: 48). In most cases, they will be found handing out alone without the company of other people. The isolation can also be witnessed when the military families move to different places as dictated by the mission of the service members. Moving from one place to another due to mission changes will mean that the families will find it hard to develop meaningful relationships with other families within these neighborhoods. Unlike servicemen, civilians will find it challenging to live in seclusion (Hall, 2016: 49). According to Proverbs 13:20 (New King James Version), a person who walks with the wise becomes wise while a company of foolish people is harmful. The verse encourages beneficial socialization and this means that as social beings, people should learn to know the type of people they keep around them. In the case of military families, the lack of socialization among the military families can be harmful as they become isolated. According to Hunt (2015: 12), socialization is a key aspect of religion as it helps in the understanding of individual religious identification and the survival of religious culture. Therefore, individuals who do not socialize drift away from this important aspect of religion.

References

Hall, L. K. (2016). Counseling Military Families: What mental health professionals need to know. (2nd ed.). New York, NY: Routledge.

Hunt, S. J. (2015). Believing Vaguely: Religious Socialization and Christian Beliefs in Britain. Italian Journal of Sociology of Education, 7(3), 10-46. doi: 10.14658/pupj-ijse-2015-3-2

Price, C. A., Bush, K. R., & Price, S. J. (Eds.). (2017). Families & change: Coping with stressful events & transitions. (5th ed.). Los Angeles, CA: Sage Publications.

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